Friday, January 05, 2007
Save Big Money at Menard's????
I have been pondering this post for some time now and it's finally come to fruition. You know we are in the middle of a rather large remodeling project in our basement right now. It all began with that Egress Window some time ago and is now become the addition of TWO bedrooms in our basement. SO - that overhaul required a trip to Menard's - our handy-dandy do-it-yourself "drop a wod" here store. I must say right off the bat that I HATE Menard's - no offense to the man (don't ask me how I'm sure it was a man - I just know!!) who started this wonderful chain of building stores - I just do not find anything even remotely intriguing about tools, lumber, doors in displays or windows that someone has time to keep immaculately clean. And the worse part - you get men into that store and you CAN NOT and I mean CAN NOT get them out!!! (Just ask our kids- they know from first-hand experience! Our family refrain in the Menard's parking lot is, "Mom, Don't let Dad go in there - he'll never come back.") On my birthday yes, that bears repeating ON MY BIRTHDAY Joe and I have a very nice evening out that also entailed a stop at Menard's. I prayed that something would happen before we got there but alas, the van performed dutifully and got us to the parking lot of the world's largest building to hold an overabundance of testosterone. I am not kidding - you just walk into that place and you feel it - "I am not a man, I know nothing about power tools, and even Tim-the-Toolman-Taylor would feel out of his element in here." So there we were walking the aisles and I hear the dreaded, "Why don't you just look here and I'll get what I need." Those words send chills up my spine - the hair begins to stand on end - and I feel weak in the knees. I mean, how do I tell the man that I dearly love that I can not let him be alone in this store?!?! To leave him unattended is dangerous - as I'm sure most women can attest to. First of all - you may NEVER find them again but IF you do - you will be sure to find a cart overflowing with items that are all necessities to the next big project - BECAUSE "you'll never know which tool I'll need for this project." I bathed my answer in prayer and choked out a feeble, "Ok dear, I'll be right in these two aisles when you get done." There - I had done it - I let him go unattended. I must interject here the only TWO good things about Menards - the scrapbook aisle and the photo frame aisle. Yes - I spent 20 heavenly minutes looking over the two aisles I could feel comfortable in and thought - ok, it's been too long - he'll be needing me. So off I went to find the long-lost husband in a VERY dangerous store. I walked aisle after aisle where he told me he'd be and began to feel the sweat trickling down my back. He wasn't here - he said he'd be in these aisles - that could only mean ONE thing - he got sidetracked! That sends panic into any woman - a man sidetracked in Menards - I began to walk faster on the hunt for my lost man. Ok, I began to RUN to find my lost man!! This was serious - I could just feel the cart filling as I was running throughout the store. I had about given up and was going to resort to the old - could-you-page-my-husband-trick (just kidding, really I've never tried that - but it might be fun!!) when I heard it - my husband's voice in the next aisle talking to an unknown masculine voice. I rounded the corner and heard, "Oh yeah, my project is an 8x12 room - I'm trying to decide which 2 by 4's I'll need and then decide on the insulation." It had begun - the dreaded men-comparing-building-projects talk. (I should have stayed in the scrapbook aisles.) It continued for some time and culminated with, "Well man, looks like we both have plenty of lumber - let's go tackle it." Yes - I could almost hear Tim-the-Toolman's hardy "ARRR, ARRR" on the end of that comment. And he said it with such glee, such gusto, as if there is anything remotely fun about having a bulging cart full of lumber, nails, insulation, etc. that only means two things: WORK and MESS! Oh but I must say - we didn't just have ONE bulging cart - we had TWO carts and all you wives know what that means - yes, you get to push one!!! And there is no easy cart to push in Menard's - these are the larger-than-life, never-go-where-you-push-them carts. I felt like a total klutz trying to maneuver this gigantic cart with a million logs on it throughout this maze-of-a-store to find the front cashiers where, and I am not kidding, it is almost impossible to get a cart through those checkout aisles. The whole time, I am sure, they have cameras posted throughout the store just to take pictures of unsuspecting, helpful wives such as myself as we try to be obliging and haul these monster carts up to the front. It is not a pretty picture and the whole time I'm thinking "It's my birthday and I'm hauling an over sized load (NOT ME- the cart!!) to the front of Menards." Then - hundreds of dollars later and nothing to show for it except wood, nails, power tools, NOTHING SUBSTANTIAL - off we go - to pile it all into our minivan - it was a treat, let me tell you - I think the cameras are outside too just to catch the whole parking-lot fiasco. The cart is rolling as you unload the lumber - how are we going to get this back hatch to close - you get the picture!! Well, we made it home, poorer, more tired, but Joe is in his element working in the basement - inches of drywall dust cover my home - we won't even go there - but I am thankful for a husband that even attempts these sorts of things - and then pulls them off brilliantly - thanks Dad too for your help - it's the whole testosterone thing - they thrive on projects such as these!
When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don't go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans and widows. Then the LORD your God will bless you in all you do.