Attention Deficit

CHILD ACTIVATED ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER

Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D. Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I
notice that there are cheerios all over the floor and my car keys
are in the cereal bowl.

I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I lay my
car keys down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can
under the counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I
decide to take out the trash.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I
take out the trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my
checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left,
my extra checks are in my desk in the office/playroom, so I go to
my desk where I find a sippy cup full of juice. I'm going to look
for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy cup in the
refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a vase of flowers
on the counter catches my eye -- they need to be watered. I set the
sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been
searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back in the
bathroom, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the wipes back down, fill a container with water and suddenly
I spot the TV remote, one of the kids left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that after school when they go to watch TV, I will be
looking for the remote as they fight over who lost it, but I won't
remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back
in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the
floor. So, I set the remote back down, get some paper towels and
wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to
do.

At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't
paid, there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the
flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my
checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find the wipes, and I
don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm
really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm
really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help
for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!