Saturday, September 30, 2006

Attention Deficit


CHILD ACTIVATED ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER

Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D. Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I
notice that there are cheerios all over the floor and my car keys
are in the cereal bowl.

I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I lay my
car keys down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can
under the counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I
decide to take out the trash.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I
take out the trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my
checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left,
my extra checks are in my desk in the office/playroom, so I go to
my desk where I find a sippy cup full of juice. I'm going to look
for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy cup in the
refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a vase of flowers
on the counter catches my eye -- they need to be watered. I set the
sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been
searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back in the
bathroom, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the wipes back down, fill a container with water and suddenly
I spot the TV remote, one of the kids left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that after school when they go to watch TV, I will be
looking for the remote as they fight over who lost it, but I won't
remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back
in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the
floor. So, I set the remote back down, get some paper towels and
wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to
do.

At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't
paid, there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the
flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my
checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find the wipes, and I
don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm
really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm
really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help
for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

3 comments:

Stefanie said...

You are hilarious! All I can say is, "I can relate!" :)

Katrina said...

So funny! I am right there with you!

Cody and Tracy said...

I stumbled upon your blog today and did read a bit, I LOVED THIS! This is something we should make the men in our lives read, so they understand how we can be busy ALL day and seem to not have done anything! Thanks for the smile, and you have a beautiful family(I have 4 munchkins!) Have a great day :)

When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don't go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans and widows. Then the LORD your God will bless you in all you do.
~Deuteronomy 24:19

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