So I feel SO blessed by a book I was sent this week - 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed by Sherrie Eldridge. I have read other books by Eldridge that have opened my eyes to things, but this one is SO right where I am! She has given me the freedom to say, "Parenting adopted children IS different - and it's ok to ask question and voice your fears and frustrations." As an adopted child herself, Eldridge is full of wisdom in how to care for our little ones - what their backgrounds may have been, and some feelings they may experience.
Here is one of my favorite "Ah-hahs":
Maybe it's just me (although I doubt it) but I needed the freedom to read these things. I needed to see what success may look like - I have so many fears of my inadequacies (I'll admit it - even more after bringing Jada home - CAN I be for her what she needs??). So this book is just really meeting me where I am. I am learning TONS. I am finding that in each chapter I am having to hold back from highlighting the entire chapter!
- Parenting Success, Adoption-Style
- To work through my personal issues thoroughly, in order to hear the heart needs of my child.
- To identify with my child on his/her emotional level and to mirror acceptance.
- To accept and nurture the nature created within my child's first home, the birth mother's womb.
- To learn and accept the complex realities of adoption as our unique life challenge - not trying to change the challenges into what the nonadoptive world expects.
- To base love and acceptance of my child on his personhood, not his performance.
She ends each chapter by giving you a time to "Listen to your child's heart" - she gives thoughts on how adoptive children may look at situation. Here is one I can relate to having both of the girls in mind....
"When you hold me for the first time as a baby, if I arch my back and won't let you cuddle close to me, I'm not rejecting you. I'm hurting. I miss my first home - my birth mother's womb. Don't let the cycle of rejection begin. If you interpret my actions as rejection, then I'll sense that and I'll feel rejected. Hold me closely until I mold my body to you, even if I cry. This is what I need."I guess that's why I want to share this book - it is a gift this week - exactly what I needed as I'm questioning what I KNOW God has called me to. It's a big task - but I am thrilled at the growing He must have for me!!