We've done it - we've ruined Jada to cameras. This is what she does now when we get the camera out - as soon as she sees it - it's all over. The hiding begins. Silly girl. Oh well, I like a good challenge.
I am going to be openly honest here - today has been hard. We knew going into the TB test that Jada's arm was significantly raised compared to the other kids in our group. And when our guide had all of us meet before we went back to the dr.'s office, she shook her head "no" - even she knew it didn't look good. Sure enough, all of the other little ones flew through their checks - no problems - and then Jada. The nurse said "no" and whisked our peanut away to xray. Of course, more Yuan for that, but the money is minor at this point. This is what we have prayed that God would cover for us - we knew it could be a possibility - TONS of these little ones are exposed to TB in orphanages and we prayed God would spare us this. But no, for some reason, He allowed us to be one of those parents that has to sleep one more night wondering if we can bring our little one home. When the nurse said "no" my fears overcame and the tears started flowing. Our travel mates are wonderful - full of support - as hot as it was - they would not leave until we were done. But my heart is just so sad. Probably two-fold - selfishly - I do not want to stay here - which might be our only option - Joe has to go back to work - his vacation time is gone and we have both said - we have come too far with her to leave her - that just can't be an option. So, that would mean Jada and I here alone until she is "clear" - I do not think I am ready for that - but I also know that God can make you ready for things you never thought you could be ready for! Secondly, for our family - my four little lambs at home need Mom, Dad and Jada home as well. So we are pleading with God tonight - that he will make those xrays clear. That is NOT too hard for Him - we know that - He's shown us that over and over. Our guide told us that one family last week is still here as well - their little girl also was positive BUT she was running a fever AND coughing. We do not have either of those things right now so praying for God's mercy.
After getting over our huge disappointment, we continued to look around a bit more here in Guangzhou and then headed back to our hotel - out of the heat - and to get a bite to eat and let Jada take a nap.
We went to one of our favorite shops today - Jordan's - a gentle man that lets you shop in peace! As we were leaving - he was helping Jada go down his steps and he asked us why she was so careful going down the steps. We told him that she can not see well. He asked which eye and we told him both. He touched her gently and said, "God bless you little one." He turned to us and said, "God will bless you - you take her to the U.S. and fix her eyes." It was another "moment" for me - I know, that until the FDA approves iris transplants, there may be nothing we can really do for her vision - and even then, the transplants aren't guaranteed. I sure wish there were something we could do for her, and I still pray for miracles - that maybe even glasses will help her. Her vision is not good - but it is amazing how her senses of hearing and touch have taken over. I smile when I watch her - God makes amazing bodies!
We don't have big plans for tonight - dinner at Lucy's with some in our group and then play until bath and bedtime. When you look at the enormity and complexity of international adoption - I am in awe - I am thankful for these wonderful families here with us - and I am thankful for the people and family back home - also praying and caring for us in so many different ways. It is in times like these that we are thankful for God's amazing gift of The Body.
I leave you with this today - amazing words from a wonderful devotional book that I read, God Calling - this was shared by another adoptive momma stuck in another country - also waiting on test results for her daughter - she shared it today on her blog - may it touch your heart as it did mine.
You will not find MY peace by engaging in excessive planning: attempting to control what will happen to you in the future. That is a commonly practiced form of unbelief. When your mind spins with multiple plans, Peace may sometimes seem to be within your grasp; yet it always eludes you. Just when you think you have prepared for all possibilities, something unexpected pops up and throws things into confusion. I did not design the human mind to figure out the future. That is beyond your capability. I crafted your mind for continual communication with Me. Bring me all your needs, your hopes and fears. Commit everything into my care. Turn from the path of Peace.