Friday, September 18, 2009

Sept. 18 - Nanjing/Guangzhou

Not my best friend....

My Best Friend!!! (I know McD's - I haven't given up on you - it's just that this is closer right now!)
Wearing Dad's shoes!!

I can not even explain it - all we did was fly and arrive - but we are whipped today! We flew out of Nanjing at noon - arrived in Guangzhou at 5pm, got our luggage and headed to the hotel and arrived around 7 pm. We just grabbed some dinner at our FAVORITE HAUNT - Lucy's!!! And now are heading to bed. It is exhausting - we tried to travel light - but let me tell you - 3 year old, backpacks, luggage, computer bag - well, you get the point. We aren't so light and the 3 year old is NO help!! : ) So it's been a day. But when you sit on that plane - you have a lot of time to think. I sat there and watched Joe and Jada sleep - and thought about how her little life has changed. She has just started to refuse almost all food we give her - we are feeding her the same things, but she isn't eating anymore. That is such a hard feeling as a parent - how in the world do you get her to eat!?!? But she's acting fine otherwise. So we don't think it's because she is sick. It makes my heart ache as I just think she is sad. We watch her almost every night - we lay her down - she doesn't fuss or fight - just lays there and tears run down her face. She is sobbing because you can see her chest move and hiccup, but the tears just flow. Totally breaks my heart. What in the world has this little girl been through?

We have a three year old that ...
...does not know how to grasp my hand or finger when we walk. I have to physically mold her finger around mine or her hand is flat and won't grasp.
...does not know how to be held - she is a still board - she does not grasp you to hang on - she would literally fall if you didn't hold her back like a baby.
...does not say hardly 3 words - so far we've heard "Mama", "didi" (Chinese for little brother), and "night-night". (Oh yes, and "Aaron", when we look at his picture.)
...just watches everything - she takes it all in - as her little eyes wiggle to capture it all. just now starting to walk more assuredly - at first she was so hesitant you had to pull her along.

When I look at her alongside other 3 year olds I have known, it can be scary. She seems more like a one year old sometimes. Although, at other times, we are amazed at her. She follows us all over - she won't let us out of her sight - and she copies everything we do. If we wash our hands, she has to as well - she knows the routine, wash, dry, and gel cleanser. She cracks us up. She sits so politely at the table before we get our food - we almost forget she is there. Tonight she sat at Lucy's and took the signs off of the table and pretended they were babies again - she rocks them and sings to them and wraps them in napkins. I teared up just watching her - she loves to play babies - we've had water bottle babies, signs, door handle cards - they have all been babies. She can be so loving. She surprises us - she makes us laugh. I just want to know what is going on in her head - I can't wait for the breakthrough when she will start talking. She is so sweet - but oh so far behind. My heart just breaks - we love her dearly - wherever she is in her development, but we pray for breakthroughs.

Pray for us tomorrow - Jada has to have ALL of her shots redone - they told us to expect 6 or 7 and her TB test - that's the biggie - we need a negative. We covet your prayers for our little one. We could sit and worry but we give it all to our BIG GOD - the One who brought us here and led us to Jada. "He Knows"......At the airport waiting with Gabe and his mom.


Kim K. said...

I have tears in my eyes reading about Jada. Her little world has been rocked. I can't wait to follow her over this next year. Please know that I'm thinking and praying for you ALL. Hugs!

Teresa said...

Our God is a big God, for sure. He will bring her through this and He has placed her in the perfect family to be His hands.

day by day said...


Many of the things you mentioned were similar to Sophie when she came to us at 2 1/2. The simplest things, like holding someone's hand...had to be taught. She was seemingly very much younger than her 2 1/2 years. She is 4 1/2 now...still acts much younger than she should, but the bridge to the gap is slowly closing as I am sure it will with your daughter. They are like little sponges...wanting to learn, it just takes time to make up what they should have learned before. It WILL happen, though!!!


Adrienne said...

Oh Becky, I know you are weary and worried, but God will sustain you. Our girl was delayed too, but she has made tremendous progress - can ride a bike, hit a ball with a bat, holds on when we hold her - in the two months we have been home. Jada will catchup too. Your love will move mountains for this girl. It already has!
Praying you through, Adrienne

KariR said...

My heart aches to hear how she is acting! I pray the breakthrough will come before you guys arrive home! How interesting to hear that she will say Aaron's name! Good luck with the shots. Still praying....

the ringelbergs

Anonymous said...

Hi Becky - I have been reading your latest blog entries and felt the need to comment! I read about when are out and about and people wonder why you want her, even though she isn't perfect. I can really identify with that. One of the amazing things about adopting a child with special needs is the message it sends to others. People don't understand. In our case, Josie's presence has opened up so many chances to share my faith with complete strangers, and people I know. We have a God that loves us just as we are.

I also pray for, for your sake, that Jada will one day indeed open up and talk so you can know what is going on with her. Josie doesn't talk, and I that is one thing I long to hear from her. I wish you strength, wisdom, and peace as you get your little girl home. When you get back, I would love to talk with you!

Shelly Nelson

hollym. said...

Tearing up as I read your blog, Becky. Everything that you are experiencing is normal for her. She WILL improve with your precious family's help. Chloe will truly be a wonderful big sister that will encourage Jada and she will definately want to follow and copy Chloe and her new brothers. God new what He was doing when He placed Jada with the Bilby's! I'm so very thankful that you and Joe are obedient to Him! That's all He needs, Becky is our willingness to follow Him.:) He's right there in China helping you along and soon you'll be on the plane bringing your precious daughter HOME!!
I'm praying for you all,Becky! Try to get plenty of rest and enjoy yourself. Everything will work out!!:) God Bless you all.

Lori Lynn said...

While it is sad to read how hard this is for Jada, the beauty of it all, is that you will get to witness and be responsible for an amazing transition. When she does reach out to grasp your hand and when she does lean in to be held by you, it will be all that more rewarding because you will know it is genuine.

Here's hoping for a negative TB test!

~verna said...

Ok sweetie(s)! We are routin' for a negative TB test. Don't forget to dose up on the Tylenol prior to the appointment. May keep the pain down. Do you have a baby for her?? Might be fun to get one if you don't. Man, I wish I was there to give you a big hug and support. It is hard without the first group. We bonded so well. I was happy to have Brian and Heather. We just needed and appreciated them as we went to pick up our Wuhan kiddos. I could write on and on but the space is limited. Love and cyber hugs from MN.

LaLa said...

Sending you hugs and prayers! Hope all is well with the appt. and I just know she will flourish with all the love she is receiving!

Anonymous said...

have a good trip home cant wate to see her.

amber drilling

Carrie said...

Praying for all clear on the TB thing! Oh one girl tested Postive on the skin test just a few days ago they did the Xray that same day and it was negative!

Steffie B. said...

It's going to be ok sweet girl...and Jada will too....once you get home....everything will slowly fall into place....praying for you all.


When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don't go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans and widows. Then the LORD your God will bless you in all you do.
~Deuteronomy 24:19

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