Monday, August 09, 2010

My Better Half

I spend a lot of time at our local hospital - Jada is seen there at least 3 times a week - and that makes for a lot of "waiting time" for mom. Today I saw a dear couple come in - they were also waiting for therapy - it was for the wife. I would say they were in their 80's and I am guessing the wife had had a stroke. Her husband just kept singing her praises - how far she had come, and was even reminiscing with one of the therapists back to when they started therapy - how she couldn't do much at all then. But what got me was after the therapist left, he was talking to her, and she was so confused - she didn't recognize her therapist's name even - and yet he felt she had really come so far. He was so patient with her, so loving and kept encouraging her. I am sure she is a lot of work for him - I see them often in passing when I am there for therapy visits, so I know he stays busy running her for visits. I am sure he didn't plan on this happening to them, and I'm sure he doesn't love it. It isn't how he had hoped to spend those "glory years" with his love. But it made me think - I need to go home tonight and MAKE SURE I tell my husband how much I appreciate him. We just never know what tomorrow holds.

I felt guilty after seeing them - I spend WAY TOO much time focused on the daily frustrations and not as much time on the big picture. It just made me want to encourage others to do the same - we have friends that are choosing divorce over trying to work it out. That is hard - it is hard to see them go through it, it is hard to watch their kids see Mom and Dad split apart - it's hard on so many levels. We have to focus on the positives - are there going to be rough spots - oh man, probably a ton!! Don't ask my kids - they will tell you that Dad and Mom argue often. I was humiliated the day Chloe asked for prayer in Sunday School because Mom and Dad were mad at each other. But what a great eye-opener that was for me. Things were hard at home, we were struggling, but we CAN work through that - we have to make it work.

My parents joke that they were worried that Joe and I may not even get married the night before our wedding day - we are both very strong willed - both first borns - ugh, we have many strikes against us habitating peacefully!! But I wouldn't trade my husband - I am truly blessed. And I am choosing to focus on that - even when I want to feel sorry for myself for having to live with a man with such HORRIBLE habits! (Said in jest!!) Take time to focus on those positive traits - I had a very wise female friend that told me, "Becky, get the notebook out - remember and tell yourself WHY you love this man God gave you." She was absolutely right - I did not marry a perfect man (good thing or he'd be done with me for sure!!!) but I married an amazing one!!

He puts up with my lack of cooking skills - let's face it - that is huge. He comes home from work and often cooks dinner for us - now that might be so that he can eat something that is edible, but hey, he does it. He send me an email every Friday with a menu plan and fun ideas for the weekend. Do you know what that shows? (Well, it could show that he just plain hopes to eat that weekend!!) It shows that he is thinking about us and cares for us. He takes time to plan for us - so that his family knows they are thought of and cared for.

This same man has a spreadsheet - he has kept it for years now, and lists on it ideas for birthdays/Christmas for each child and myself - and not only that, he lists what we ended up purchasing so we have something to compare to for next year. That is a gift- a Dad that cares and takes the time to make his family a priority. He knows my love language - VERA BRADLEY - just kidding, I'll take computer/tech items as well!! :) While I say that in jest - I am really not kidding - he takes the time to KNOW me, he knows that when Mother's Day rolls around - if he brings me a Vera Gift Bag, that will make my day!! The last time he brought one home, he said, "I know you didn't have a summer pattern so I found one for you." WOW - that means a lot! I'm not all that savvy when it comes to fashion, but he took the time to even scope out "summer styles" - how kind is that!?!? Or the camera lens he bought for a holiday - that spoke volumes to me - he knows I enjoy that and would savor that gift. And although the gifts are fun - it's FAR more than that - it's the time and thought behind them that means the most to me.

I could go on and on - he wouldn't like it - but I could. Joe is a gift - I need to realize that more often. After watching this dear couple today, it reminded me that really our time together is SO short - I am grateful for the gift God has given me in my husband. If you needed to hear this reminder today - it's ok, I've been there many days!! But take some time and focus on those positives - they ARE there and you only have to choose to find them.

5 comments:

AK said...

I'm a firstborn married to another firstborn as well.

And also need a "gentle reminder" at times to appreciate it all as much as I should. SO in love with him, I never doubt that, but I do sometimes need to do a little more to show it...
(thanks, I think I'll make a favorite dinner for him tonight!)

Mr.Brian said...

I've seen that in my work often.
The two of you make a great team.

Gma of 7 said...

Extremely well said!!!! Why is it we always seem to forget this but think about things we are not happy about!! Life is too short for that! I know that your Dad would take are of me in that very say way as the couple you saw.
He, too, is one very special man!

Kelly Combs said...

I loved this post and every wife should read it and think of the values of their mate. Good for you!
And thanks for the inspiration.

Faith, Hope, and Love said...

Oh man...I'm crying again... That was beautiful and so true! We never know what tomorrow will bring. Seniors break my heart as much as orphans do and so many people are disrespectful to Seniors. Do they not realize they will be there one day to? And our children who we get frustrated with...may one day be taking care of us. Okay...now I'm depressed. Thanks for the great reminder to look for the good in our spouse.

I hope all is well in your corner of the world! These therapy appts. are a killer...huh?

Love and blessings,
Robin

When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don't go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans and widows. Then the LORD your God will bless you in all you do.
~Deuteronomy 24:19

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