Sunday Snapshot

Sunday Snapshot...

I think one of my favorite things is to see my girls interact.

I love it that even though Jada has very little language, Chloe knows exactly what she wants and is saying.

I love it that Chloe enjoys showing Jada the ropes and rarely tires of teaching her new things.

I love the bond these two have formed over the last year and a half.

God is indeed GOOD!

Baking....

I know, you are wondering what I'm up today. (ME too, to be honest!)

But I did accomplish my friendship bread (you see, last week my Mom finished it up for me, yep, I mushed and she did all the hard work!). But today I did it myself. I do take a small amount of pride in that - I mean - after all of my kitchen fiasco's I am almost frightened to step in that linoleum-floored room. (I think Joe gets scared too - he watches me pretty close and asks LOTS of questions). But here it is - my pride and joy!

I branched out this time - yes, take a deep breath! I added ALMOND flavoring instead of vanilla - STOP LAUGHING - I was worried about that minor change but Joe said I'd be ok. And if you want alternative recipes, THIS is a great spot!! SO now the grand prize - I have three bags of starter to share!! (That's just the kind of person I am - always willing to share what I have!!) So don't be shy - speak up, oh, the only glitch is that you must be local - I just can not subject myself to standing in the post office and explaining that the contents of my package are liquid, fragile and yes, maybe even potentially hazardous!!

God Knows

Well, we got back the results of the EEG - it showed nothing abnormal.

We got back the results of the MRI - it showed nothing abnormal.

We sit back and say, "Praise God!"

But let's be honest - we sit back and say, "So why the learning problems then??"

We, for just a brief moment, wondered, "God, why won't you show us anything more? We want to help to help this little one and we are at a loss."

And then, as Joe and I were IM'ing each other - we both typed - at the same time -

But this is how God has worked from the beginning with us and with our questions about Jada.

He has very clearly shown us over and over - even through her name,

Jada - Hebrew for "God Knows".

He does know - we do not - and we trust in that.

We may never know anymore than we do right now.

And we can honestly say we are ok with that.

God knows!

Don't Move a Muscle!

Today I woke up with quite a bit of apprehension. Jada had an MRI scheduled for today. Now normally that would not bother me - but I was a tad bit nervous for this one. We had asked if we could do the MRI here in our town instead of driving back to Sioux Falls like we did twice a couple of weeks ago. It was fine to have it here in our town, but we were told they do not do anesthesia here with young children, so they were quite hesitant to say yes. I told the scheduler, I told our doctor, I told the MRI tech the same story - I can not explain it - but she has sat through numbing of her eyes, a catheterization, an EEG, drawing tons of blood for her genetic testing, you name it - she doesn't move a muscle. Now, as her mom, I am not entirely sure that's a good thing - but that is how she is. It is almost as if this little one knows - if I just sit still - it will soon be over. They ALL weren't sure - I don't blame them, I mean, really, you never know what a four year old will pull at the last moment!!! BUT they agreed, they said they'd try it.

We showed up and I told Jada it would be a BIG bed and they would be taking pictures of her head. I tried it to warn her it would be VERY noisy (for Jada, that is a big deal, she does NOT like loud noises at all!!). They took her in and that is where I nearly lost it. As they put her little ear plugs in, took her away from us, laid her in that big bed and then put the plastic form around her head, my eyes filled with tears. I know it is best for her - she needs all of this testing to rule out everything and move forward, but at that moment, I thought - maybe we just needed to have her "put out" for it. How scared she must be! It broke my heart - I wanted to go in with her, hold her tightly and promise her everything would be ok. But I obeyed and went to stand behind the window and watch. I will be eternally grateful, however, for the dear MRI tech, that held her hand the whole time and did not leave her side - she talked to her and reassured her and kept checking in on her. They told her to close her eyes and not to open them and, amazingly enough, Jada did JUST THAT. The tech that ran the computer told us that there was hardly even a vibration in her pictures - which means she really never did open her eyes or even move. She just didn't move a muscle. She told us some adults can't even provide that clear of a reading - because even opening your eyes can cause a vibration.

I was so proud of her. I was scared deep down that even though she is wonderful in doctor's offices that she might "flip out" a bit around that huge machine. But no, true to Jada-form, she did what she needed to do and came out smiling. My amazement and love deepens for this little girl everyday. She has been through so much, and may have to go through so much more, but she never flinches. She chose her prize, a Beanie Walrus, with pride and kissed it all the way home!

Hotels and Doctors!

We had to take Jada in for a sleep-deprived EEG last week and we KNEW we'd lose her with an hour and a half drive that morning after very little sleep the night before, so we spent the night. Which was quite comical as we STILL almost had her doze off on just the short ride to the hospital from our hotel! :) But we made it and she was a trooper - we are so glad she is so compliant for doctors - this little gal sees quite a few!

But we realized that this was her first hotel stay since being in China! And she LOVED it - cold pool and all!!

Oh yes, and here is what we found when we got there!

Yep, that's us - we are QUITE SPECIAL!!! :) You can take guesses at what was inside!

We Discovered Bandanas

And we won't take them off!!!

Those girls make me smile!!

It's You and Me, God - oh yes, and Jada AND Chloe!

There are certain things that God knows I struggle with - one of those is waking up early. Case in point - yesterday we headed to our doctor appt. almost 2 hrs. away and we had to be there by 8 am - yep, you get the picture. It was EARLY for me. I know some people enjoy that, but I do not. I try to be kind at least, but you aren't going to get any deep conversation - Chloe tried, just ask Joe - it didn't work too well. Nope, not until that coffee has gone to my toes and my eyes can stay open without wishing they were still closing - THEN, I become who you know on a day-to-day basis! SO, getting up early to read the Bible - I think God knows my heart - it just doesn't work the best for me. God and I have discussed this - if He calls me to it - I will give it all I've got, but until then......I sleep! So then one must find another time to find that time alone with God - but, as many moms know, that can be a challenge. There is only one of me - but with 5 kids - they take every ounce of me - time included. I know that I need to be in the Word daily though - that is what keeps me going - so I make time everyday to spend time alone with Him.

The other day, the girls were watching TV, and I thought - this is it - this is my 30 min. - here I go. I quietly snuck into my bedroom - I mean, I was quiet - I don't even think the dog heard me. I opened my Bible and my new study book - and I smiled - yep Lord, I did it! But I hadn't even finished one paragraph when I heard feet. Now really, Moms help me here - why is the room no longer fun when Mom leaves?? It's true - you know what I'm talking about - it was all ok until Mom disappeared and then it isn't any fun anymore and so off they go to find Mom. And that is just what happened!

I looked up and Jada was attempting to crawl up onto our bed. I made the "shh" sign to her - I was ok if she wanted to join me, but it had to be quiet. I guess I should have told her to stop wiggling too - my Bible now has lines that are not as straight as I'd like (that's a whole different post!!) due to her inability to sit still! But she sat there for a bit and then disappeared. When she came back she had her notebook and a pencil and came back up by me. She never took her eyes off of me - when I wrote, she wrote. When I read, she pretended to read. When I moved my hand, she moved her hand. (I know, I was getting a lot out of my reading, wasn't I!!??!) It wasn't very long thereafter that Chloe appeared and sat down by me as well. Neither made a peep - Chloe was reading to herself and Jada was continuing to draw in her notebook. I was tempted to think - OH MY WORD - I can not even get 10 min. alone - but I stopped - I really did -

I stopped and thanked God for two little girls that love their momma! And I hope they remember seeing Mom read her Bible often. I am glad I can show them how important it is to me - even with two little girls trying to distract me!

How Can I Keep From Singing?

I am not a very good gift-giver. I'll admit that right up front. I have thought it through MANY times and I can't put my finger on it, but as close as I can figure - I think I am just too practical. I want to surprise people and give them something they'll love, but practicality always wins out! Take Joe on the other hand - the guy is the master of gift giving - he starts his spreadsheet in May and plans out what he is going to give and yes, he saves those spreadsheets - he has them from years past just to keep track! And he's so great at coming up with ideas - I mean, really, THIS will go down in infamy!!!

So this year, for Christmas, I really tried hard NOT to be practical. Ok, the upside down map that Joe asked for - that was probably practical, but the tickets for tonight's big show in Sioux Falls - not practical!! And boy was he surprised! I made a puzzle he had to put together, yep, that's the other problem with Joe - you just CAN NOT surprise that man - he always figures it out. SO as he's doing his puzzle - he is just clueless. He gets it done - and he's STILL clueless because I only listed date, time, and place - not the performer! But really, he lives and breathes the music of this man, I thought he'd know he was coming and the exact date and time!! But no, and then when I told him - yep, he was a little teary! I LOVED that - I surprised him - and I was NOT practical.

(I know, patting myself on the back here - but after 18 years, I think I deserve one pat!!)

And, I needed to post this today in case Chris was reading - I don't want to offend him at all, but I really won't be watching him so much tonight - nope, my eyes will be on my husband - he'll be WAY more fun to watch!!

O the Deep, Deep Love

The questions I get asked over and over are, "So how is Jada doing? AND Are you seeing progress?" And, as tough as it is to put down on paper (or a computer screen!!), I am going to try! On a good day I will respond, "She is doing great!!" But what I really mean is - she is BY FAR, not the same sullen little girl we brought home a year and a half ago. This little gal has a will - oh man, there are some days we wish she was still sullen - oh, just kidding - although she does want to be boss and that creates a bit of friction for Dad and Mom to deal with - we love to see that there is a little spirit in there that cares. That is not what we saw at first at all - you could do almost anything to her and she had absolutely no spirit to fight. She is also not quiet anymore - and yes, maybe even on some days I realize I didn't enjoy those quiet days enough!!! This little one has LOTS to say and even though you may not understand it all - there are no more quiet car rides and no more playing silently with toys. If she is not talking to Chloe or the boys, she is sitting beside me (wherever I happen to be) and talking my ear off - in her own Jada-way! She has come SO far.

However, on one of my down days, I would answer your original question with tears in my eyes because I want so much more for my little one. She will be 5 this May and really, often, we see more like a 2 or 3 year old in age. She is SO behind - both developmentally and academically - we have been asked to think of having her repeat Preschool, she is still seeing sometimes 5-6 therapists a week, others outside of our family would be hard pressed to understand her speech, she still has muscles that are not able to function like they should - it all breaks a mamma's heart. But I think what really matters here is not where Jada is but where I am.

I hate to admit it - but I am going to - I pride myself on being honest and transparent - so here goes. I was not ok with this whole thing a year ago. I felt like this was really a raw deal. I mean, really, we went out on a HUGE limb - both financially and in faith - to bring Jada home. She was #5 for us - we were plenty busy juggling homeschooling, church, jobs, LIFE, and we really did not need another child. But we truly felt God's call to bring another one home and so we stepped out. We feared from the beginning with her eye condition, but when we got to China, I was even more scared at what I saw and yes, angry. There were things I saw in Jada that honestly frightened me. She seemed almost mute and she could hardly walk without falling down - she was so unsteady and had no muscle tone. She looked like a little girl with a body - but no soul - she seemed so empty it was eerie. But I kept going back to the reason we were there -we were called - there was no doubt in my mind. However, was I bucking the whole way?? Yep, I begged God to change His mind, to remove that call - that this was TOO much for me. But He did not. I remember the morning we had to take all of our money - and give it to the orphanage as a "donation" for this little girl that I was sure God had somehow mistakenly closed His eyes for a few minutes and we had somehow been given the wrong one. I just could not see a big plan and all I could humanly see was how much work this was going to be and how unfair it all seemed. WOW - I look back and read those words

and what really strikes me is how much work God had to do to in me. Those days in China were a whirlwind in my mind. Joe and I didn't talk much. I was battling that dumb blood clot

that kept me from going anywhere without hobbling and in much pain, and we were both scared to death. This little girl - with all of her problems - seemed overwhelming to both of us. I remember coming out of the bathroom the morning we had to take all of that money and give it away in order to keep this dear little one. Joe was sitting on the floor crying and I came upon him and started crying myself. It was SO much money for this precious little soul - this imperfect little soul (in my eyes) and I was sad because it all seemed so unfair - the whole situation seemed unfair - but my wise husband looked up at me, tears running down his cheeks, and said, "He paid SO much more for us - and we aren't perfect either." Yep - that about summed it up. We would give away thousands of dollars for one that didn't "measure up" in the eyes of the government but who was I to judge - I am FAR from perfect myself - I am sure God just shakes His head at me sometimes and thinks "we have so far to go" - and we do.

But a year and a half later - I STILL have SO far to go - I really do. But I have also learned SO much. And I am going to say this out loud now - I would do it again tomorrow. I truly would. The WHOLE thing - I would go out a limb, I would take a child that had unique needs, and I would go and bring them home. I would do all of it knowing that when we got home we would

have to see doctor after doctor, therapist after therapist, and worry and wonder and not know what our future held for this dear little one. And I would do it even if God never asked me to - because I have learned so much and my heart is truly being changed. I LOVE this little Jada. I see a totally different little girl when I look at her now and I believe it is all because someone dared to love her. We may not know what is wrong with her mentally or developmentally - and we may never know. But what I do know is that I can pour love into her little life and give her something she never had before. I can be her MOM.

I say all of this today because, it being Valentine's Day, I was thinking of love. It is easy to love - really, we can all do it. But sometimes we get tested a bit. Just a little bit of "how easy is it to love if things aren't A-Ok?" testing - you know what I mean?? A year and a half ago, I sat and wondered how I could love - I remember thinking it - I still hang my head in shame. And now I don't doubt it for a minute - I love every quirky thing about this dear little one. I have been shown over and over how there was no "mistake" - she is exactly HOW God wanted her to be and she is exactly WHERE He wanted her to be. And I wouldn't have her any other place......

Livestock Ramblings....

We are always looking for ways to show our kids that God is at work. So, when we started our adoption of Chloe, I heard a speaker share how her family said that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills - so whenever they got a grant or a sum of money they told their kids, "God sold another cow." We LOVED that and I came right home and shared with our kids that that would be how we would watch God provide for us. And we did. Every time we received a grant, we'd say, "God sold another cow!" We loved it - it was a tangible way to show His constant care for us.

When we began our adoption to Jada, and stepped out again in faith financially, our kids said, "Well, God just has to sell a lot of cows!" And that is just what He did for us - cow after cow, we made our way to China and brought Jada home. That isn't to say he provided every penny the way we thought He would - some of it we received by taking a second mortgage (right or wrong financially - we felt it was the way God was providing for us since that was our last option before we traveled).

Now that we are home with both girls - AND I felt God leading me to quit my job at the library (for a number of reasons - some good, some bad - I am still glad to be home) we are tighter than ever financially. Our stepping out in faith was good for us, and still continues to be - God keeps us right on the edge to watch Him provide. (I hope this doesn't sound like complaining - nope, I see right where God has us and I am just grateful that He provides for us enough to pay the bills each month!) So, a few weeks ago we get a call from a meat locker near here and the gal shares with us that someone purchased a portion of a cow for us and how would we like it processed?? Can you just see how great God is??? Once again, we had to smile - He provided a COW for us to show us He's still watching out and providing for us!! I love that - I wanted to share with everyone how God will NOT let you flounder on your own when you follow Him. I think the poor gal on the other end of the line thought I had lost it - I said a couple of times, "A Cow?? How awesome is that??" Yep, the cow is home - in our freezer and we feel so blessed. It was an anonymous gift - we can't even appropriately say thank you - but that is just how God likes to do it sometimes. I know, some are shaking their heads and saying, "Becky, it's a cow - really!!" But God just does not drop cows on you everyday and to us it was a great big hug from Him!

Happy 13!!

We love to give Aaron a hard time - his day was a day of great drama 13 years ago!!

Not only did he decide to flip breech at 39 weeks, the doctors thought it would be fun to try to turn him back around AND THEN have Dad hold his head down in the birth canal to try to induce while he was still headed in the right direction. BUT, Aaron had other plans - as soon as Dad let go of his little head, he flipped right back around again and WOULD NOT make an appearance. Yep, he was my C-section - and we remind him often how he did not want to come into our world!! BUT we are so glad the doctors convinced him - he is a SPECIAL gift - our blessing that was not planned but we are SO glad God had other plans!!

We love you big guy - and are SO glad you decided to come out and live with us!!! (Yep, Mom is especially grateful for that - not sure she'd want to carry you thirteen years!!)

Snow Day!!

We are tough homeschoolers over here - we usually don't take "snow days" like the schools do - but we did make some time today for "snow fun"!! I wanted to share these great ideas as they are not mine and you might like to use them as well!

First we started our Snow Flake Cocoa and it simmered for 2 and a half hours:

Then we made our Snowflakes to eat!!

Even the boys thought we were quite culinary!

18 Years Ago Today

18 years ago on an icy night - we tied the knot! And 18 years from that night - I am STILL glad we did! We had no idea what a ride we'd be in for - but I would rather be on it with this wonderful man than anyone else!! God's plan is good!

The Citrus Sisters

There really are NO words for this:

Last Day of Kindermusik for Another Semester

Both girls had Kindermusik parties today - we are, sadly, done for another semester. But hang on until January when we start again!!! :)

Jada LOVES the parachute!!

Our resident Dulcimer expert!

Yes, that is SNOW falling on Jada!!

Jam Session!

Merry Christmas 2010!!

Our annual family Christmas letter - for those that did not get it via email - enjoy!!
Christmas Letter 2010Good

Makes me Smile!!

Once in a great while - I do enjoy paybacks!!!

Fall Fun

What is better than a warm Fall day!?!?!?

The girls had a ton of fun!!

Changed Us, That's for Sure!

Creation Groans from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

You've Come a Long Way, Baby!

When Jada brought this home today - I just had to smile.

I am going to be bluntly honest here - there were days when I was not sure if Preschool would even work - there are just some things that do not seem to "stick" with Jada and her learning - she knows things one day and then they are gone the next - I have never seen that before with children and so it can be hard to know how to teach with that.

But we are seeing things in her that I honestly don't know if I ever thought we would. She is becoming quite the humorist - ok, most days I don't like it when she tells me, "No YOU, BABY!!" but hey, she is trying to be funny - and trying to communicate - and while I want to tell her, "We don't call people Baby," I refrain from saying it EVERY time because it is progress. We still struggle to understand every word she says - but we are coming along - we can understand SO much more now and some new words are coming all the time.

What a difference a year makes - so this proud momma had to brag a bit on her aspiring artist - I am not kidding - even the circles are a BIG DEAL here!!

To My Kids....

I LOVE this song - I pray this for each of my kids -

Gotcha Day

A Year Ago Today...

Gotcha Day from Becky Bilby on Vimeo.

Our lives were changed forever but so were our hearts. God gave us a blessing - as I've been told a few times - a special one - one that God calls some to be blessed with. She is a blessing - over and over. We Love you Jada!! We are glad you are OURS!!

Sensory Processing DVD

I am always looking for something new having to do with Sensory Processing issues. I was so excited when I saw this new instructional DVD by Dr. Karyn Purvis:

A Sensory World: Making Sense of Sensory Disorders

You can also read more about it on the Empowered to Connect website.

It did not disappoint - as my husband and I sat and watched this and saw our Jada over and over - we were so glad for the wealth of insight and ideas that Purvis brings to this arena. WELL worth your time and money - I will gladly share mine, but guess you'd have to be in my neck-of-the-woods!!

Our 14 Year Old

14 years ago, we were totally blessed by a little man that stole our hearts from day one! He has continued to steal our hearts....

Our Caleb is an amazing young man that is generous, caring and tender. We praise God for him and what he brings to our family! We love you, Caleb - we pray you continue to become the man God has planned for you.

First Day of Preschool

It arrived - the first day of preschool - and since this is my first EVER to go to school - it about killed me!! (I'll admit it, the night before I was still wondering if this was the smartest idea in the world!!!) I took her to school and bent down on her level and said, "Jada, Mommy will be back after school is done, ok?" To which she looked at me and said, "Momma Cry?" I said, "Oh no, Momma's not going to cry!" (I was only convincing myself you know!!)

I took her inside the school, showed her her locker, and her teacher. And she spied kids playing on the other side of the room and off she went. She didn't look back - I THINK that's the way we want it, right!?!?!?

Even Chloe didn't want me to take her without her coming with us!! Chloe privately asked me, "Mom, who will talk for her when no one understands??" I didn't admit that I wondered the same thing. Chloe has the uncanny ability to always know what Jada is saying or needing - she is so sweet to Jada.

But I am thrilled she had a good day. I want her to love school and I pray that this year gives her just what she needs - whether it be speech or confidence - whatever it is God knows that she needs.

We are blessed with a wonderful teacher that knows a lot about Jada and is one of her many cheerleaders. God is so good that way - He just continues to bless us with people to love on our little ones.

So when I asked Jada what she did at school she told me, "Draw, Snack, Slide." Sounds like the perfect preschool day to me too!!

Oh, gotta run - the boys just said that it is time for the traditional "after school hugs" and I don't want to miss out on this!!!

The Whole Family at the Park

Yes, sometimes we ALL go to the same place! And that is when it gets a little loud, and a little chaotic, but a WHOLE LOT of fun!!!

Love that "static hair"!!

Even big brothers need pushes.

The Lookout Man!

One Year Ago....

Exactly one year ago we were in agony - literal agony! We knew we needed to travel SOON to go and get Jada or everything in our adoption file would need to be renewed - we were looking at thousands of dollars to renew all of that but if God would move mountains, that would all be forgotten and we could go and get Jada. He did it - we had only a few days notice, but He put it all in place and with just a few days to pack and get everyone in order, we were off.

I have been thinking on that a lot lately - this time last year I was wondering what God was going to do. I was worried about a little girl that had so many "unknowns" to her. I was fearful to leave our four children and travel all the way around the world YET AGAIN to add to our already-busy family. I remember it well - all of the unknowns and fears. And yet, I'd do it again tomorrow if God called me. Has it been easy? Wow - if you read my blog at all, you'll know we've had HUGE hurdles - beginning with my lovely blood clot that formed while in China!! But God has worked in it all - and I pray it's only to bring glory to Him.

What I think on most though is the little girl that I easily could have never gotten to know. The day we got to meet Jada for the first time I remember saying to Joe, "There is nothing in there - she's an empty shell." She didn't talk, she didn't look at us - it was scary. I prayed and asked God for ANYTHING - any sign to tell us to take her home - little did I know that Joe was praying the same thing - and we both felt He showed us nothing. We felt alone - scared - worried - I can hardly put it into words. We felt we had clearly followed His path and yet at the end was a little girl that was so empty that she was almost frightening to us. (This coming from someone that has seen ALL kinds of kids - I have worked with kids for over 20 years - but I had never seen anything like this.) I remember the day we took her back to the government office to sign the papers and we had another family there from the U.S. that was giving their little girl back and saying they could not take her. They were beside themselves - it literally hurt them to say no, but her needs were so far beyond what they could care for that they felt they had to give her back - they could not take her home. My heart broke for them - what horrible pain - and yet, a part of me totally understood - I, too, was given a little girl that seemed FAR WORSE than what I had envisioned. I remember that part of me that thought - it would just be easier right now to say No, and head back home - empty-handed and sad, and yet with far less to worry about.

BUT I am SO glad God intervened - He gave us no reason to NOT take her home - that is what we kept coming back to. We had been called, this little one needed a home, and we could do that. I kept looking for a glimmer in her eye - anything to show that she was "there" - that she was ok. Now, almost a year later, we have seen it. We have seen her "glimmer", there is a little girl in there that only needed to be let out to live. A little girl that makes funny jokes even with very limited speech. A little girl that amazes us with her zest for life after all she has been through. A little girl that is far more resilient than her own mom could ever be! She has taught me so much - about myself, about life, and about God. I am glad God never gives up on me - just like we have never given up on her. I am glad He brought us on this journey to watch our little blossom unfold and bloom. All I can say is "Thank you God, for what you've called us to. Amazing."

Never Underestimate....

I don't think there is even an appropriate intro for this video. Just watch and absorb.

My Better Half

I spend a lot of time at our local hospital - Jada is seen there at least 3 times a week - and that makes for a lot of "waiting time" for mom. Today I saw a dear couple come in - they were also waiting for therapy - it was for the wife. I would say they were in their 80's and I am guessing the wife had had a stroke. Her husband just kept singing her praises - how far she had come, and was even reminiscing with one of the therapists back to when they started therapy - how she couldn't do much at all then. But what got me was after the therapist left, he was talking to her, and she was so confused - she didn't recognize her therapist's name even - and yet he felt she had really come so far. He was so patient with her, so loving and kept encouraging her. I am sure she is a lot of work for him - I see them often in passing when I am there for therapy visits, so I know he stays busy running her for visits. I am sure he didn't plan on this happening to them, and I'm sure he doesn't love it. It isn't how he had hoped to spend those "glory years" with his love. But it made me think - I need to go home tonight and MAKE SURE I tell my husband how much I appreciate him. We just never know what tomorrow holds.

I felt guilty after seeing them - I spend WAY TOO much time focused on the daily frustrations and not as much time on the big picture. It just made me want to encourage others to do the same - we have friends that are choosing divorce over trying to work it out. That is hard - it is hard to see them go through it, it is hard to watch their kids see Mom and Dad split apart - it's hard on so many levels. We have to focus on the positives - are there going to be rough spots - oh man, probably a ton!! Don't ask my kids - they will tell you that Dad and Mom argue often. I was humiliated the day Chloe asked for prayer in Sunday School because Mom and Dad were mad at each other. But what a great eye-opener that was for me. Things were hard at home, we were struggling, but we CAN work through that - we have to make it work.

My parents joke that they were worried that Joe and I may not even get married the night before our wedding day - we are both very strong willed - both first borns - ugh, we have many strikes against us habitating peacefully!! But I wouldn't trade my husband - I am truly blessed. And I am choosing to focus on that - even when I want to feel sorry for myself for having to live with a man with such HORRIBLE habits! (Said in jest!!) Take time to focus on those positive traits - I had a very wise female friend that told me, "Becky, get the notebook out - remember and tell yourself WHY you love this man God gave you." She was absolutely right - I did not marry a perfect man (good thing or he'd be done with me for sure!!!) but I married an amazing one!!

He puts up with my lack of cooking skills - let's face it - that is huge. He comes home from work and often cooks dinner for us - now that might be so that he can eat something that is edible, but hey, he does it. He send me an email every Friday with a menu plan and fun ideas for the weekend. Do you know what that shows? (Well, it could show that he just plain hopes to eat that weekend!!) It shows that he is thinking about us and cares for us. He takes time to plan for us - so that his family knows they are thought of and cared for.

This same man has a spreadsheet - he has kept it for years now, and lists on it ideas for birthdays/Christmas for each child and myself - and not only that, he lists what we ended up purchasing so we have something to compare to for next year. That is a gift- a Dad that cares and takes the time to make his family a priority. He knows my love language - VERA BRADLEY - just kidding, I'll take computer/tech items as well!! :) While I say that in jest - I am really not kidding - he takes the time to KNOW me, he knows that when Mother's Day rolls around - if he brings me a Vera Gift Bag, that will make my day!! The last time he brought one home, he said, "I know you didn't have a summer pattern so I found one for you." WOW - that means a lot! I'm not all that savvy when it comes to fashion, but he took the time to even scope out "summer styles" - how kind is that!?!? Or the camera lens he bought for a holiday - that spoke volumes to me - he knows I enjoy that and would savor that gift. And although the gifts are fun - it's FAR more than that - it's the time and thought behind them that means the most to me.

I could go on and on - he wouldn't like it - but I could. Joe is a gift - I need to realize that more often. After watching this dear couple today, it reminded me that really our time together is SO short - I am grateful for the gift God has given me in my husband. If you needed to hear this reminder today - it's ok, I've been there many days!! But take some time and focus on those positives - they ARE there and you only have to choose to find them.